Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behaviour(s) that is used to gain and maintain power and control over an intimate partner.
Domestic abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological; and actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviours that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.
If you are unsure whether some of your behaviours are abusive, try taking the following quiz.
1. Tell your partner who they can talk to or hang out with?
2. Call your partner names, criticize them, or embarrass them in front of others?
3. Force your partner into doing something they don't want to do?
4. Make your partner feel guilty if they don't do what you want them to do
5. Interfere with your partners work, or school work?
6. Prevent your partner from seeing their friends and family?
7. Follow your partner when they are not with you?
8. Are overly jealous?
9. Check up on your partner a lot: listen in on their phone calls, frequently ask where they have been, call frequently to check up on them, or check the mileage on their car.
10. Blame your partner for everything
11. Say that your partner's concerns and fears are not real or not important.
12. Prevent your partner from leaving by blocking the doorway or holding on to them?
13. Push, hit, or shove your partner
14. Do you have an explosive temper?
15. Threaten to hurt or kill yourself if your partner leaves you?
16. Force your partner to have sex when they don't really want to?
17. Damage or destroy your partner's possessions
18. Threaten to harm partner, their family, friends or pets
19. Do things that make your partner seem scared?
20. Threaten partner if they should tell anyone about the abuse
If you answer yes to any of these questions, you are being abusive toward your partner. There is never any legitimate excuse for abuse. If you are abusing your partner, it is NOT okay. Abuse is NEVER justified. Only you are responsible for your actions, and it is wrong to abuse, manipulate and control another person. If you think there are things in your life that contribute to how you treat your partner, you need to get help to deal with those issues. What do I do if I am abusive? These problems do not go away on their own. You need to find ways to have relationships that are respectful, equal, and non-violent. Don't let shame or fear stop you.
There are people who can help you deal with your abusive behavior. We can direct to a place that will assist you.
CENTRE AGAINST ABUSE 292-4366